a few pints

[68a]

I got the chance to road test Tony's new motel for myself on Friday night,or should I say morning perhaps..I had nipped into the pub for a quick couple of pints and bumped into Colin the farmer who just happened to be dressed in his best togs.I myself was in the 'going out clobber' also but flatly refused to head into the local hotspot zone on the grounds that I was working the following morning.At this time of year and on bank holidays especially,the yard is swamped with customers all looking to spill large amounts of coinage into my tills,so it would be very unprofecional of me to be reeking of ale,kebab and slurring my words.
I got home at about 7.30am......

[Neversweat]

Called it an early night then

[68a]

During my time in the local,my wife had been partially listening to Colin the farmer bending my arm about going into town and reckoned that I 'deserved' a night out on the tiles.I had been out the previous Saturday so I have to wonder what Mrs Lamb is upto.....the milkman perhaps?
Anyway,she removed all my keys off the ring and issued me with a solitary key and confiscated my phone(I have a habbit of loosing things when supping in volume).I then protested that I only had about 80 quid on me at which point Colin pulled out a fistful of dollors and shoved them into my hand........am I being set up???
The local hotspots were absolutely heaving and saw a few faces from the past and it would be fair to say we had a damn good night but I now had the taste for it so there was no damn way I was going home at 1 am with Colin.A taxi ride that I don't remember yet(it will come back to me in a few days) soon propelled me into Warrington town center where it all goes very fuzzy and vague.
As the dawn started to break some time later I treated my self to a pizza(with extra garlic)and made for a taxi.
Upon my arrival at home I was standing outside those bloody seven foot high gates of mine wondering how the hell to get in.....I had lost the only key Susie had given me and had no phone.I had a dilemma,....I could sleep outside the gates and let the dog walkers and horse riders have a laugh at my expense or I could walk upto the yard and crash at Tony's Motel

[68a]

Called it an early night then

You could say that
Tony,that plastic cover on the bed is dreadfull.It kept me awake.
By half seven I walked back home and through the blazing sunshine that had engulfed the village.No doubt the curtain twitchers will pass judgement,and got back to the house where Susie was making porridge for the boys getting them ready for a shift at the yard.After looking at the state I was in she handed me the kids and kindley volunteered to help out at the yard.I was told to take them over the field and keep them occupied if I could handle it.There are some D8 cabs and the JCB and a few thousand tons of soil to play in so it should be quite simple...........
It wasn't long before my eldest son was on his way to hospital where he and Mrs Lamb spent about 4 hours in A+E waiting for x-rays.
He just has a sprained ankle but I sense that Mrs Lamb is abit off with me.

[Jeremy Rowland]

That's a big oops then Nicky

Jeremy

[tctractors]

Plastic cover??? I thought that was a new style blanket, well it does it for me.

tctractors

[68a]

new sign for the pub

[68a]

Last night seemed to go allright in hindsight,Mrs Lamb and I hit the local at about 6.30 and after a couple of pints we headed off to a friends house for a 'summer bbq'.Due to the ocassional shower,lightening,hale storm and thunderstorm we spent a good deal of the evening in the kitchen whilst the rain pulverised the grass.I was introduced to the female devised game of 'tit cricket'...Now,I haven't heard of this before and it has almost no rules other than you must discreetly brush your arm against some poor girls top rollers and get awarded runs.A full cradle of roller is classed as a six,a swift flick of Scammel wheelnut is classed as a four and you're out for a duck if you get a slap in the face..
I picked on the girls in the 'large track type tractor' department as they were easier to score runs off and didn't seem to mind.Later the game degenerated pretty much in the girls groping each others bouncy bits for the benefit of the Facebook brigade.We men were quiet happy to watch.
Anyway,all good nights have to come to an end and one of the lads helped me propel Mrs Lamb into the back of the taxi only after she had fallen head long into some very well tended flower beds(whilst writing this she is currently at the garden center replacing them out of guilt).
Back at Southfork........the baby sitter had to help me remove her high steppers and drag her into a spare bedroom for the night.
I let her sleep in this morning until 12 o'clock when the pub opened and we had a damn good roast lunch.
Clive,I hope Ruthin Castle was sound enough for you and Mrs Gray.We will meet up again sometime mate.

[v64paul]

First class again matey ! I'm of the opinion that if you wrote a book of your experiences it would be treated as the greatest work of fiction known to mankind. Still, it would be a cracking read ....

[68a]

trouble is Paul,is that it's all true.That said....,never let the truth get in the way of a good story.