a few pints

[nick lamb]

went to a politicly incorrect party the other night with my wife.........
got quite a few more if the moderators don't mind.
For the record,it was all just tongue in cheek stuff and when the police finally turned up to break the party up they eventually saw the funny side

[nick lamb]

Proof that the police do have some humour after all.
P.S my wife and I are in some of the pics.

[Jeremy Rowland]

Okay then Nicky which is you and your missus? Looks to be quite a party

Jeremy

[nick lamb]

here you go Jeremy,just to proove we're god fearing church goers.

[RichardJW~]

c'rrekt me if I'm wrong but blondie in the leather (or PVC) looks like she's got a strap on, on or a special "aligning tool"

must have been a helluva party

[tctractors]

Richard, I have met plenty of "Ladys" with the same clutch aligning tool in Italy, so perhaps she was Italian?? if nicky could send me an invite to the next " Do " I might get my usual lift to the big Hotel by the Lawmen.

[nick lamb]

I managed to get out again....... This time it was a couple of weeks ago during the heatwave.
Me and the lads went to Manchester for a bender.I'm getting abit old for this but had to prove to myself that I still have the liver of an elephant.I have.9.30am and I have a bowl of porridge washed down with a cold Stella.9.45am and I'm waiting outside my local waiting for a taxi watching the girls walking the horses.Life is good.10.15am and we meet up with some of the p##s heads in the town center at Wetherspoons where 3 more pints and a full English are consumed.I am now allready loosing track of time but don't care.
A very long story cut short and it appears that my watch is telling me some kind of lies and that it's 4.30am and I've got some sort of alcoholic,vomit inducing beverage in my hand so I reackon it's time for home.
I can recall looking at the clock next to the bed and it was 5 ish.
What seemed like a short time later my f##king phone was ringing...I answer it to find my wife most relieved to find I'm not dead then proceeding to bollo#ck me from a great height(where the hell are you????you selfish basta#rd,I'm worried sick).I reply that I'm about 3 feet away in the next bedroom where upon she slams the phone down and opens the door to let my young children in to play with there Daddy..... Life is not so good now..........

[tctractors]

Hell Nicky, you slipped up there big style, when I get my " Beer Brain " on getting home a bit late or is it early?? I strip off my duds into a spare room then walk backwards into the bedroom naked, if the wife wakes up I tell her that I am just getting up love for a bathroom call going into fast forward motion, when she ask's the what time did you get in last night thing, I always say I dont know love but I made myself some toast?? I dont know why I say this load of crap as I often struggle to unlock the back door never mind turn into Super Chef?? but I sort of recon its worth at least 45 min's of extra Doubt about the exact time I fall through the door.

big smile tctractors

[nick lamb]

well the tables were turned last evening.The boys went to a party in the pub with their mum but i stayed at home as I'm feeling rough with a cold at the moment.She and the kids returned at 7.30pm after being there since 4pm.She clearly had had too much wine and was strugling to both walk and speak(where's your multi tasking now dear?).Anyway I took the slightly frightened kids off her and put them to bed and then proceeded to run her a nice bath.For some reason she then thought it a good time to ask my opinion on some new lipsticks and lipgloss that she'd bought.This was not a good idea.I now know why I didn't become a paramedic as she looked like an accident victim that's not going to make it.Anyway I told her she looked great(she then starts arguing with herself that I'm not giving my honest opinion)and I manage to undress her and get her into the bath and feed her some Nescafe.
This actually works and she comes into the lounge half an hour later like nothing's happened!!!
Women heh......

[tctractors]

Nicky, your living the dream in my mind, on Friday I did 3 jobs in the persisting rain that knocked me about hellish, the 1st job was to sort a CCU on a D8 that was parked in a swamp with a swamp road leading to it,this involved getting bogged to hell in my L/Rover and using its winch to set me free to the point of me being a knacker case, then stripping out some pistons from a Volvo 140BLC, dont forget its still raining like hell and we are talking sump off stuff on a swampy site about 40 miles from my first task, then fix an oil leak on a D5 dozer fitted with the 333C motor and its still raining I am not being helped by a few builder inside a factory unit laughing at me having to work in the now mental amount of rain, anyhow I get home and my Wife says " Ive had a hell of a day, I bought this Dress and I must have tried every Shoe Shop for a pair of Shoes to match it, I will have to try Cheltenham?" she then ask's me how things have been for me with all this rain, I answered "was it Raining Love"